The ultimate guide to speed dating and first dates

The first date with a potential partner is very important. In fact, that first date is an amazing opportunity to get to know and establish the initial communication with the person you are going out with. Dozens of physiological researches have shown that people tend to form a first impression of an unknown person in a very short amount of time, 7 seconds to be more precise. The first impression plays a significant, but not a crucial, role in later interaction.

In just a couple of seconds, people can form judgments about someone’s attractiveness, intelligence, honesty, sociability, and various other personality traits. Some aspects of these judgments about another person can be very accurate, while others can be completely wrong.

Because the first impression clearly matters, we will be giving you some dating tips on how to ace the first date with a partner and look like a real seducer.

First and foremost

Being late to the first date is a major no-no! 

Whether you are going on a speed date or a regular first date, being late will leave an impression of you as irresponsible and as an unreliable person. Of course, emergencies should not be taken into this consideration. But if you are late because you are acting careless, you will likely get some minus points or even be left without another chance from your partners.

The threshold of tolerance of people is getting lower and lower as time passes by. So, we suggest you stop for a moment and imagine how would you feel waiting while being excited and overjoyed, and that person is super late to the date.

Allow the other person to feel comfortable

One of the best pieces of advice anyone can give you about dating is to allow the other person to feel free and comfortable enough. Remember that speed dating and even regular dates are events where no one should feel like they are being questioned. Too many questions and aggressive behaviour are not desired. Your date might feel like they are being caved in.

Yes, you are just getting to know each other, so, the questions are inevitable, but it is very important to have a limit. After all, the other person’s body language can help to notice when they are feeling uncomfortable. 

Body language is actually something we will be discussing further.

Pay attention to the body language

Although nonverbal communication plays a significant role while judging another person, this type of judgement is influenced by other factors. Our mood, different attitudes, prejudices, and expectations we have from the person we are going out with can also affect our opinion.

All of these factors can lead to misjudgments about others. 

On the first date, everyone tries to leave a positive impression on the other person. This is completely normal and legitimate. For that reason, people are being careful, and they pay much attention to the body language of another person. Sometimes, it happens that a person actually slips out of that state of caution into a feeling of anxiety which can act as a paralyzer and prevent that person from spontaneous expression or free behaviour. 

When anxiety hits, we can often feel blocked while not knowing what to say or what to do. Generally speaking, anxiety is the biggest enemy of the first dates.

Therefore, following the other person’s body language while trying to see how they feel, if they are anxious or not, can help you loosen up the atmosphere on the date. On top of that, you will know exactly what to do to relieve their anxiety and make them feel comfortable.

Don’t bring negativity into the date

Even if you have had an exhausting or hard day at work, don’t let the negative energy fulfil you. Being negative or arrogant on a date might not give off a great vibe. Try not to talk about your problems, don’t let the stress from work or any other situation ruin your night.

Try to enjoy the date as much as possible. You can always blow away some steam later with your friends. If you let the stress have power over you, your date might think that you are not really enjoying this meeting or that you don’t like them at all.

Split the check!

And when the date is coming towards the end, someone probably has to pay the bill. What do to then?

Well, if you cannot decide whether or not one of you should pay the check, it’s perfectly fine to split the check. However, there are men who are too proud to allow a woman to pay the bills, and there are women who won’t allow a man to cover the costs of a bill fully. In these cases, splitting the check is the best thing to do.

Final speed/first dating advice

The final advice we could give you about your first dates is not to pretend to be something you are not. Try not to be too modest either. You should not immediately mention some problems which are bothering you in real life. On top of that, you should never lie about your personality.

The first date should be relaxed and fun, although both of you will probably be a little bit nervous. But don’t sweat it, that’s normal!

Don’t forget to pay attention to your partner’s body language. You can learn a lot about them just by paying attention to the smallest details. 

And, lastly, remember – the worst thing that can happen to you is that you will never see that person again. In other words, don’t be afraid to be you, to show your true self, and to hope for the best outcomes of that date!